Destiny - Chapters 23 & 24
Nov. 7th, 2003 06:49 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
psubratAuthor: PSUbrat
Rating: PG-13 Some language and violence
Disclaimer and spoiler warning: These characters belong to Joss Whedon and whomever else he sells them to, I'm just borrowing them for a while. This story is part three of a trilogy and is based upon the alternate universe I created in Reset.
Update List: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Destined_Fic
Summary: A heart wrenching father and son moment occurs; Lorne devises a plan to help decipher the prophecy while an unexpected admission is made...
Timeframe: Immediately following "To Shanshu in Sunnydale"
Cordelia continued to float several feet off the ground, her glow becoming brighter and stronger, as Angel’s screams became louder and more persistent. Gunn pulled Fred out of her seat next to Angel and put an arm around her protectively, slowly backing up in fear of what was occurring. Everyone was now on their feet, staring at the couple that was obviously receiving the vision meant for them.
Lilah looked around nervously. She thought working at Wolfram and Hart could be disconcerting, but just being here in Sunnydale was worse. She needed to get out of here, out of this city, maybe even this state. Quickly. She began sliding towards the door, figuring that no one would notice her leaving amid the chaos. Before she could get two feet away, Wesley grabbed her arm, yanking her back towards him.
"Going somewhere?" He demanded, tightening his grip on the woman’s arm.
"Not anymore I guess," she sheepishly replied. Damn. Usually nothing could make her feel so insignificant but Wesley had a way about him that made her feel absolutely filthy.
"Giles, shouldn’t we stop this?" Buffy demanded, concern coating every word. All of her senses were trained on Angel and Cordelia, leaving her unaware of what was taking place elsewhere in the room.
"No, they’re perfectly fine," Giles responded calmly as he held Buffy’s elbow to keep her from interrupting. "They have to receive their message without the rest of us interfering. It’ll be fine."
William slowly moved behind Buffy and encircled her waist with his strong arms. Whispering in her ear he said, "It’s all right luv. They’ll be fine. You and I always are after our visions. He can’t hurt them yet." He could feel her relax against him. This night was taking a toll on everyone, especially her. And it was only the beginning.
"Are you sure they’re okay?" Fred asked in a frightened tone as she leaned into Gunn and grabbed Lorne’s arm. Her world felt like it was spinning out of control. What would she do if something were to happen to Angel? To Cordy? Angel saved her from hell, gave her a place to live and comforted her and Cordelia befriended her when she felt alone. It was true that she had Gunn now, but she needed them to be okay. They were her family now and she loved them both more than she could ever express.
Suddenly, Cordelia dropped to the floor in a heap while Angel slid off his seat and onto the floor, unconscious.
Fred was at Cordelia’s side in seconds trying to assess if her friend was hurt in any way. "Cordelia? Cordy? Can you hear me?"
Cordelia moaned softly and felt herself being rolled on her back. Images of the Master still enveloped her mind. She was afraid to open her eyes; afraid that he would be standing in front of her and that it hadn’t been a dream. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she heard a voice calling her name.
"Cordelia, please open your eyes! Say something!" Fred pleaded, gently shaking her.
"Is she dead?" Gunn asked, trying to keep the panic that he felt out of his voice. "Try mouth to mouth."
"She’s not dead silly," Fred stated with some annoyance. "She’s just unconscious."
"Are you sure?" Willow inquired as she peered down at the former cheerleader, horror etched on her ashen face. "She looks dead."
Xander took a deep breath. "Okay, everyone stand back," he stated with authority, spreading his arms out to move those closest to him and trying to take control of the situation. "I’m gonna try mouth to mouth."
"Anyone giving me mouth to mouth is going to find themselves in a heap on the other side of the room," Cordelia declared, sitting up and holding her head in her hands.
Fred laughed and hugged her friend tightly. The group around Cordelia breathed a collective sigh of relief.
"Are you alright sweetie?" Lorne asked as he kneeled down next to her. "That one looked like it packed quite a punch."
"Yeah. I’m fine," she replied as she rubbed her temples. "God that was wicked. It all felt so real. He’s still just as ugly as he was six years ago."
"You’re telling me," Buffy cringed. "At least he didn’t kill you."
"Not yet anyway," Xander deadpanned.
"Very funny," Cordelia sneered back at him. "Hey," she started, realizing that Angel hadn’t come to her aid, "where’s Angel? Is he okay?"
In all their worries over Cordelia, no one had bothered to check on Angel.
Buffy shrugged. "I just figured since he wasn’t dust, he wasn’t dead."
"That’s comforting," Cordelia retorted as Fred and Lorne helped her stand up. "Since I’m fine, would it be too much to ask for you to check on Angel?" She hoped that Buffy caught the sarcasm in her voice; she knew the others had, although with Buffy, you just never knew if the girl understood anything you were saying to her or not.
Rolling her eyes, Buffy began to walk towards Angel’s prone form but stopped short when she saw Connor cradling his father’s head, tears slipping down his cheeks.
"Angel?" Connor asked as he leaned over his father’s body. He couldn’t tell if the vampire was okay or not since there wasn’t any breathing but as Buffy had pointed out, Angel wasn’t dust so he must still be alive. He had watched in horror as his father had screamed out in obvious pain and then slipped to the floor. When everyone else had gone to the aid of Cordelia, he had silently joined his father on the ground. Gently, he shook Angel’s shoulders. No response. How could he have been so wrong about everything? How could he have believed all the lies that Justine and Holtz had told him? Despite his best efforts, his tears began to flow silently as his guilt overwhelmed him.
Buffy backed up slowly and motioned for the others to observe what was occurring. She was amazed that this stone-cold teen was showing any emotion other than bitterness or hatred. On the one hand, she wanted him to pay for trying to kill her and on the other, his fear and grief tugged at her heart. She felt as if she were intruding on a private moment between father and son. She was sure that the others probably felt the same way.
Hesitantly, Dawn took a step forward but William stopped her, shaking his head slowly, indicating that this was not something she should be involved in right now. She nodded her response and turned her head. If she couldn’t comfort him, she didn’t want to see his pain.
"Dad?" Connor begged trying not to panic. He felt horrible about everything he had done, not only to Buffy and Dawn but to his father as well. "Father, please wake up. I need to tell you how sorry I am. For everything."
A solitary tear fell on Angel’s face as the boy cried his name over and over again. Slowly, Angel sat up and wrapped his arms around his sobbing son. If his heart could beat, he was sure that it would be breaking by now. After Cordelia had saved him from a watery grave, all he had wanted to do was to confront Connor and ask him why. But now, now all he wanted to do was to hold and comfort him.
"Please forgive me father. I didn’t know..."
"Shhhhhh, Connor. It’s okay," Angel soothed, trying to calm his son. "It’s all right. We’ll get through this."
"But I tried to kill you and Buffy. I did it because I thought you killed my fath-Holtz. Justine made me think you did and I believed her..." His sobs were beyond heart wrenching as he poured out his guilt.
Cordelia ran to the two forms on the ground and pulled them both into an embrace. "Shhhhh," she whispered, trying to console them as she gently rocked them back and forth. She struggled with her own tears while father and son cried together. "It’s all going to be okay. Everything’s going to be okay."
Quietly the others slipped into the back room to give the three some much-needed private time.
Buffy paced the training room while the others watched. She tired desperately to put the pieces of the prophecy together but was having a hard time doing so since she was exhausted.
"Luv? Buffy?" William softly asked, trying to get her attention. It hadn’t worked. If he didn’t get her to sit down soon, she was going to wear a hole in the floor from her pacing. It also wasn’t helping the others’ nervousness either. Finally, he strolled over to her and placed his hands on her shoulders. The action brought her out of her thoughts.
"What?" She asked with a dazed look on her face.
"Luv, I need you to sit down. You’re making the others even more nervous than they already are..."
"I’m sorry. I’m just thinking..."
"I know. We’re going to get through this, luv. Now please, let’s sit down."
Giles watched from across the room as William deftly handled his slayer. He was quite impressed with the man Spike had become over the past few months. Training William to become Buffy’s watcher had been a brilliant idea on his part. The two worked well together. Quietly he approached the couple that was now sitting on the floor in front of the pommel horse. Crouching down next to them, he whispered, "We need to go somewhere to rest and do research. Nothing’s going to get done here."
William nodded in agreement. The Magic Box would be the ideal spot for research but there wasn’t a comfortable place for people to sleep.
"We can go back to my house," Buffy stated in a monotone voice. She felt detached from everything around her. "Sleep in shifts. You, Wes and William can do research in the dining room. I’m sure Will and Tara can help you too."
"Excellent idea, Buffy," Giles commented as he put patted her shoulder. "How are you holding up?"
"Well, let’s see: in the last twenty-four hours I’ve had to search for my sister, beat up Willy for information, kill several fledglings, got a message from my dead mother, had to defend myself for my choice in boyfriend, was nearly killed by Steven who turned out to be Angel’s son Connor, was attacked by one of the Master’s minions, nearly had the life scared out of me thinking something had happened to my sister when you guys came through the portal and I’ve had to deal with the gang from Los Angeles. All in all, I think I’m holding up pretty well. What do you think?"
Giles gave her a small smile as he squeezed her shoulder. "As I was saying, rest is in order..."
Before Giles could finish his sentence, the door leading to the shop opened and Cordelia, followed by Angel and Connor, entered the training room. All three looked as if they had been to hell and back, several times over.
Buffy stood to acknowledge their presence. "Good. Now that everyone’s here, let’s get down to business. We’re going to head back to my place." She turned towards the group of Watchers who were standing off to her left. "Giles, you and Wes grab everything you need to do research."
They nodded back at her and started heading towards the shop to gather the pertinent information.
Turning towards her group of friends, she stated, "We’ll sleep in shifts. First shift will be Dawn, Willow and Tara. We’re going to need you three well rested and ready to go by tomorrow night. Cordy, you might want to catch some sleep too. It looks like your vision took a lot out of you."
"Understatement of the day," Cordelia replied with a nod, relieved that she didn’t have to ask to be in the first shift of sleepers. She was exhausted. If it wasn’t for the fact that Angel was holding her up, she would have passed out by now.
"The rest of you," Buffy continued, now in complete Slayer mode, "will help Giles, William and Wes with the research. I don’t think we’re in any immediate danger since the Master needs us all alive for tomorrow night, well most of us anyway, but if you think you may not be able to help with the research, I’ll give you weapons and you can stand guard. Oh, except for you Lilah, we’ll tie you to a chair somewhere. Any questions?"
Everyone nodded back at her in unison as Lilah rolled her eyes.
"Good. Let’s go."
The trip to the Summers’ home had been made in complete silence. William, Angel, Wes, Giles and Buffy brought up the rear of the group, making sure that nothing could attack them from behind while Xander helped Gunn look after the renegade lawyer. Upon reaching the house, Dawn headed straight to her room while Willow and Tara went to theirs and Buffy made Cordelia comfortable in her room. The three watchers spread out their books and what not on the dining room table, delving immediately into researching the prophecy. In the living room the remaining group, plus a secured Lilah, tried to relax.
"I feel so useless," Xander muttered, mostly to himself but those sitting around him heard as well.
"You’re not the only one dude," Gunn replied with a sigh. "Why can’t we just go after this Master thing now, take him out before the Judgment?"
"Probably because he’s protected," Anya responded matter of factly. "Not only is he protected by all of the minions he’s managed to create but he’s probably protected by magic as well. The Last Judgment is a serious thing. I’d imagine that none of us would get very far before being killed."
Xander looked at his girlfriend in complete awe. "Anya, why didn’t you tell us that you knew anything about this?"
"No one asked," she added shrugging. "Besides, I really don’t know much other than rumors and legend and those aren’t enough to help sort out anything."
"How do you even know about this?" Fred asked, intrigued that someone other than Wesley might have any knowledge of these types of things.
"Anya used to be a demon..." Xander replied.
"You were a demon?" Gunn asked incredulously, eyes wide.
"Ex-vengeance demon," she corrected with a smile.
Gunn let out a low whistle. "And I thought we were a messed up group."
Connor tried not to smile at Gunn’s remark as he took a seat on the floor in front of the couch.
Lorne had been listening to the exchange as he looked around the living room, his eyes coming to rest on the stereo. "Lookie what we have here," he said with a grin.
"No," Gunn cried out. "Uh uh. No way."
"What?" Xander asked with a frown. "It’s just a stereo."
"Dude, you have no idea what that means to this guy."
The green demon stood up and started rummaging around the CDs. "Oh! Celine Dion! Did I tell you I met her in Vegas? She’s fabulous."
"I don’t think Buffy would be happy with you playing anything by her," Xander stated with a cringe. "It’s a former roommate from hell kinda thing."
Lorne let out an exaggerated sigh. Taking another quick peek, his smiled widened. "Even better."
"Oh no!" Gunn exclaimed. "What did you find now?"
"Okay people. Let’s do some Livin’ La Vida Loca! Everybody gets to sing!"
"What?" Xander demanded waving his hands back and forth in front of him in a negative way. "I’m not singing. No way you’re going to get me to sing. Are you delusional?"
"Look, you want to help figure out who’s involved in this prophecy or not? It would save those exhausted men over there some time."
Xander looked towards the dining room and sighed. "Fine. But I’m not singing Ricky Martin!"
In the backyard, Buffy sat quietly on the bench looking at the stars. She had excused herself from the research table to come out here to think. Her and research were not of the good. Of course, she had to practically tie William to his chair since he was so insistent on accompanying her outside. She understood that he was just concerned for her safety and well-being but she could take care of herself. Both she and Giles had made the case that the Master needed her alive and well in order for the Last Judgment to be completed on time. Begrudgingly, William had finally agreed to stay and help Giles and Wesley. Thank God. All she wanted was a little alone time, time to come to terms with the fact that she was probably going to die, again, for yet a third time. Didn’t they always say the third time is the charm? What exactly did that mean? She wasn’t exactly feeling the charm, that’s for sure.
"I know you’re standing there," she stated with some amusement to the vampire who was now lurking in the shadows.
"I figured you’d be able to sense me. Just thought I’d kinda hang back, in case you might need anything."
"Like backup?"
"Maybe," he replied, stepping towards her and giving her his patented half grin.
"I can take care of myself you know."
Hesitantly he sat down next to her on the bench and looked into her eyes. "I know." He sighed. So much had happened today, he didn’t know where to start. "Buffy, I’m sorry."
"Sorry?" She asked with a frown. "For what?"
"For not telling you about Connor or the Shanshu prophecy. Basically for everything."
"There’s no need for apologies, Angel," she said smiling at him. It was nice being able to talk to him like this again. She hadn’t realized how much she had really missed it until now. "There’s a lot I didn’t tell you either. It’s all bridge with water running under it."
Angel snorted and shook his head. She was amazing. Suddenly he felt like he was complete again. Whole. "Buffy," he said, almost in a whisper. "I...there’s something I need to tell you."
Buffy raised her eyebrows, noticing the seriousness in his tone. What more could he possibly tell her? Hadn’t they already said everything there was to say earlier? "Is everything okay?"
"It’s fine..." He took an unneeded breath and looked up at the stars. "No, it’s not fine." Pulling her hand into his and looking into her eyes, he said, "Buffy, despite everything that has happened over the last few years, I’ve never stopped...what I’m trying to say is..." Damnit. He felt like such a fool.
"Angel? Whatever it is, you know you can tell me, right?"
"Buffy, I love you."
Author: PSUbrat
Rating: PG-13 Some language and violence
Disclaimer and spoiler warning: These characters belong to Joss Whedon and whomever else he sells them to, I'm just borrowing them for a while. This story is part three of a trilogy and is based upon the alternate universe I created in Reset.
Update List: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Destined_Fic
Summary: Buffy is stunned by Angel's admission while Lorne and the others try to figure out the prophecy through song...
Timeframe: Immediately following "Visions & Delusions"
The insistent sound of bass pounded through the house as the three men sat at the table in the dining room trying to make sense of some long forgotten prophecy. Their faces betrayed their exhaustion, especially Giles, who had been up for almost forty-eight hours now. At first, they had tried to ignore the sound, give those in the living room the benefit of the doubt, but soon it was just too much to bear. Wesley covered his ears while he tried to translate the text in front of him, his head pounding in time with the sound coming from the other room. He glanced up at the former vampire sitting in front of him to see what his reaction was to the noise; surely he would be offended as well. Shock registered on his face when he saw William’s head bobbing in time with the music.
"What is that bloody awful noise?" The older watcher demanded finally, somewhat exasperated.
"Certainly not Schubert or Beethoven," Wesley replied with a frown. He’d soon have to go look for some aspirin for his headache if this kept up.
Giles slowly shook his head as he took off his glasses. "Whatever it is, it’s dreadful."
"Oh please," William retorted, grinning at his two companions. "Listen to you two blokes. It’s called music."
"Yes, William. I realize that it’s music but why on earth are they playing it? The others are upstairs trying to sleep. Now is not the time to be ‘partying down’."
William snorted. "I’m sure they’re just trying to blow off some steam, Rupert."
"Hardly," Wesley stated dryly as he tried to turn his attentions back to his book. "It’s probably Lorne just trying to get everyone to sing so that he can read...Good God!" He declared as his head shot up and his eyes widened in realization. "That’s it!"
"That’s what?" Giles inquired, somewhat annoyed with the man who seemed to be speaking in puzzles.
"Lorne. Bloody brilliant," Wesley stated with a chuckle. "I don’t know why I didn’t think of it before. It’s quite simple. Lorne gets them to sing and then reads them."
"Reads them? Like he did me earlier?"
"Precisely William. If he can read them, he can find out who is, and is not, a player in this prophecy. Of course, it won’t tell us a thing about how to stop the Master but it will give us some insight into the pairings."
"What are we still sitting here for then?" William asked as he stood. "I believe the music is calling us..."
"It’s not music," Giles insisted as he followed the younger watcher into the living room. "Bay City Rollers, now that’s music."
Outside, the trees swayed to their own music in the soft breeze; the sound of their leaves rustling together was soothing and melodic. The night was cool and clear, enough so that the stars were clearly visible. There were thousands upon thousands of them, twinkling brightly in the night sky. This had been the reason she had come out here to begin with, to lose herself in the stars and the sounds of the night but now she was sitting on the bench, next to Angel, staring incredulously at him.
"Come again?" She croaked. She was sure she had heard him wrong. Her heart began to pound and she felt as if she was going to be sick.
Angel tightened his grip on her hand. He had expected this reaction but he still wasn’t prepared to see the shock on her face. "Buffy, I’m still in love you. I don’t think I’ve ever stopped."
"Are you delusional?"
"What?"
"Delusional. You know; the act of being deluded."
"I’m not delusional, Buffy. For the first time in years, I’m seeing things so clearly. I should have never left you. I should have stayed with you; things would have been so different for you, for us, if I had. I wanted to tell you because after tomorrow night...well, I may not get the chance."
Her body felt numb. She was sure that if he wasn’t holding her hand, anchoring her to this world that she would just drift away to join the stars in the heavens. How long had she waited for him to say these things? How many times had she dreamed of his return? Now, here he was, sitting next to her, telling her everything she had always longed to hear. Her mind reeled. She closed her eyes and tried to reign in her thoughts. His name was all that managed to tumble from her lips as he leaned in to kiss her.
Lorne sat comfortably on the couch, one hand on the armrest, tapping in time to the rhythm and the other draped over the back behind Anya. His left leg was crossed over his right and his foot swung slowly to the beat. He closed his eyes as he listened to Gunn try to sing the song he had chosen. Who’d have thought that this young man from the streets of L.A. would harbor a secret such as this? If it weren’t for the fact that the puzzle pieces needed to be put together quickly, he would have been giving his friend a hard time about his choice of music. As it was, it was taking all that he had to keep from chuckling out loud.
Nervously Gunn stumbled over the words. Before he had put on the CD, he had threatened bodily harm to the first person that laughed at him. It was good that he wasn’t as insecure about this as most guys his age. This was a serious time and serious times called for some serious music. Closing his eyes, he began swaying with the music as he continued to sing. "I’ve been searching, deep down in my soul; words that I’m hearing are starting to get old..." He really loved this song; it called to his soul. "It feels like, I’m starting all over again, the last three years, were just pretend, and I said..." Michelle Branch could really belt out a blues tune. "Goodbye to you, goodbye to everything, I thought I knew. You were the one that I loved, the one thing that, I tried to hold on to..."
Fred watched in amazement as her boyfriend’s voice entranced her. There was so much more to him than anyone would see at first glance. He wasn’t your typical boy from the ‘hood. He was strong, confident, and tender. She swelled with pride knowing that she was his.
"Alright blues boy," Lorne interrupted. "You can stop. You’re not one of the chosen."
Gunn continued to sing along; oblivious that anyone had just spoken to him. "I used to get lost in your eyes..." He stopped only when he heard the group break into laughter. "Hey!" He shouted. "I thought I said I’d kill the first person that laughed at me?"
"Sorry bro," Fred giggled. "Lorne said you could stop but you just kept right on going."
Gunn cocked his head to the side and placed his hands on his hips. "I thought I told you that you couldn’t use that word?"
Everyone laughed again as Lorne cleared his throat. He was sure the boy was blushing, even if they couldn’t tell. "Sit down G. As I said, you’re not one of them. Who’s next?"
Fred shyly raised her hand. "I’ll go." She walked over to the CD collection and flipped through the selections. Finally, settling on one, she popped the player open and placed the disc into the drive. She wasn’t sure why she had agreed to do this. The last time she sang for Lorne, all hell had broken loose at his club. She was concerned the same thing would happen now.
As the music started, Gunn’s eyes widened in recognition. Was she really going to do this? Clearly, she had gone insane. He watched, mouth agape, while Xander and Anya exchanged amused looks.
Fred smiled coyly at Gunn and then began her song. "Two trailer park girls go round the outside, round the outside, round the outside..."
"What on earth?" Lorne asked with a frown. This song would do his head in for sure. Such a shame that poor girl didn’t know any Ricky Martin songs. She had been in Pylea far too long, missed too many good tunes.
Connor laughed as he watched Gunn squirm at Fred’s choice in songs. He would have never guessed that this quiet girl could even sing, let alone sing Eminem.
Fred continued with the song, adding some dance moves as well. "Guess who’s back, back again. Shady’s back, tell a friend..." She could tell that Charles wanted to crawl into a hole. The thought made her smile so she danced in front of him, gyrating to the beat.
"What in God’s name are you doing?" Giles demanded from the doorway.
Angel was vaguely aware of the chirping crickets as they provided the background music for his attempted reconciliation with Buffy. It seemed to him that they were whispering to him, telling him to unburden his heart to her. He hadn’t realized that the words had come out in a rush or that he was shaking. All that mattered was the look in her eyes. He knew there was a part of her that felt the same way that he did, the same burning desire to be together. He just needed to connect with that part, make her understand. Before he knew what he was doing, he had leaned over to kiss her.
Slowly she leaned in to meet him, unaware of her surroundings and still feeling as if she was floating. She was lost in his eyes; so much like old times.
"Buffy, I..." he whispered as his eyes lowered, noticing her lips moving closer to his.
Suddenly their mouths met in a searing kiss. All the pain, passion and regret of the past poured out through their lips. Before Buffy knew it, Angel had pulled her on to his lap. She could feel his need for her growing. This was wrong. So wrong. Pulling free from his arms, she stood up and moved away from him, covering her mouth with her hand.
He watched her back away from him, shock reflecting in her eyes. As she turned, he reached out to her, wanting to pull her back. "Buffy..."
"Don’t. Don’t say a word."
"But Buffy..."
"How dare you? How dare you come back here after all this time and say these things? What about Cordelia?"
"How did you...how do you know about Cordy?"
"I may be blonde, Angel, but I’m not stupid. I see the way she looks at you and the way you look at her when you think I’m not looking."
"I don’t love her."
"Like hell you don’t. You certainly don’t love me."
"I do love you Buffy. I always have. How many times do I have to say it?"
"You can say it all you want, Angel. But you don’t mean it. You’re just in love with the idea of loving me. Not more than three hours ago you were ready to tell me about Cordelia but then you stopped yourself because you just couldn’t handle the thought that I was happy with Spike. God forbid that Spike be allowed to have happiness. That’s what this is all about, isn’t Angel? Trying to reclaim something that was yours because you don’t think Spike is worthy enough to have it?"
"No!" He yelled at her as he grabbed her arm, looking deeply into her eyes. "This has nothing to do with Spike. This has everything to do with you and me. I love you Buffy, I always will."
"I don’t love you, Angel. I’m in love with Spike and I have been for a very long time now. He was here for me, when my mom got sick, when she died, when I died and came back. He’s been here for me through the worst time of my life. Where were you when all of those things happened?"
He looked at her with pleading eyes. "Buffy I’m sorry but..."
"But you did what you needed to do. I know that. I’m not holding it against you anymore," she said quietly, regaining control in her voice. "I’m just saying that he’s been there for me. He’s never left. Well, other than to go get a soul, but still, my point is...he’s never left me. Even when I pushed him away and beat the total crap out of him, he stayed. Why? At first, I thought it was because he liked the pain but now I know it’s because he loves me and he believes in me more than you ever did or ever could." Her eyes flashed with anger. She needed to make him understand that he no longer held the same place in her heart that he once did.
"That’s not fair, Buffy. I gave you space to find a normal life."
"I didn’t want a normal life. I wanted you. And since I couldn’t have you I moved on. So did you..." She put her hand up to silence him, as he was about to protest what she was saying. "I’ve found something bigger than the both of us and I have a feeling you’ve found that same type of thing with Cordelia, haven’t you?"
He looked away from her. Why couldn’t she understand his feelings for her were genuine? He truly loved her, now and forever. He lowered his head and sighed, feeling defeated. "No. I haven’t. Because I love you and only you," he said lifting his head and meeting her eyes. "I just wish you would accept that."
"Maybe you do love me, Angel. The thing is, even if you did, you can’t have me. I’m in love with someone else and no one, not even you, can come between that."
The welling tears stung the back of his eyes. He looked away from her again and up at the stars. This had not gone quite the way he had planned it.
"Uh, dancing and singing?" Fred replied meekly, answering Giles demand as she brought her act to a screeching halt. Singing and dancing in front of Lorne, Connor and the Scoobies was one thing, but being caught doing it by a very British Watcher was quite another. She could feel the warmth rising in her cheeks and began to fan herself. "It’s hot in here. I think I better sit down." Quickly she moved to sit next to Gunn on the floor.
Giles watched as the young girl took a seat next to her boyfriend, her cheeks and neck turning a bright shade of crimson. He hadn’t meant to embarrass the girl and he felt somewhat badly about it. "I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. It’s just that your choice in, uhm, music was a bit disconcerting."
"You’re not the only one thinking that," Gunn responded as he gave Fred a puzzled expression. He watched as she blushed again, even a deeper shade of red than before, if that were possible.
"I’ll second that," Lilah stated from the other side of the room. "If you’re going to have me tied up, could you at least provide some earplugs?" If she ever got out of this alive, she was going to make Angel Investigations pay dearly.
"Oh come on Lilah," Wesley grinned wickedly at her. "You’re not having a splendid time? I thought this would be right up your alley, free entertainment. Oh, I’m sorry, it’s the other way around. You usually provide that."
She narrowed her eyes and glared at him. Silently she swore to herself that he was going to be the one to pay the most for his transgressions. She would make sure of it personally.
"She doesn’t look too happy," Anya chirped. "Maybe we should sing something upbeat next time."
"There’s always ‘I Touch Myself’ by the Divinyls," Xander declared with a grin. "But I suppose that would require less rope on her part."
Wesley chuckled at the remark as he saw Lilah’s face redden.
"Please accept my apology," Lorne interrupted, hoping to ease the tension that was building in the room. He stood up to face the three watchers who were hovering by the door. "It was my idea to get them to sing and dance." He paused a moment to consider his statement. "Actually it was my idea to have them sing, dancing was optional. Anywho, from what I can see, Gunn and Fred are not part of the Twelve."
"So it worked then?" Wesley asked, moving deeper into the room; his curiosity peeked.
"That it did. And I was just going to have Boy Wonder here sing after little Miss Snoop Doggy Dog was finished. By the way, darling, that was marvelous!"
Fred giggled. "Word."
Gunn shot her a glance that said ‘you and I are gonna talk later’.
"Fascinating," Giles stated as he moved towards the couch to have a seat. "Mr. Lorne, please continue with your experiment." Perhaps they could finally solve the puzzle of the Twelve before tomorrow evening. "Xander, when you pick something out to sing, please do make sure it’s music and not noise. Do try to remember that there are those sleeping right now whose powers will be of the utmost importance tomorrow night.
"Right," Xander nodded as he flipped through the CD collection, praying that there was something manly he could use.
William continued to lean against the doorframe, smiling to himself at the thought of Xander singing. Buffy would certainly want to see this, he thought. Despite the jovial atmosphere, something bothered him; something felt off. His eyes slowly scanned the room. Everyone who was awake was accounted for, except for one. Concerned, he silently slipped away from the living room unnoticed and headed towards the back door.
Rating: PG-13 Some language and violence
Disclaimer and spoiler warning: These characters belong to Joss Whedon and whomever else he sells them to, I'm just borrowing them for a while. This story is part three of a trilogy and is based upon the alternate universe I created in Reset.
Update List: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Destined_Fic
Summary: A heart wrenching father and son moment occurs; Lorne devises a plan to help decipher the prophecy while an unexpected admission is made...
Timeframe: Immediately following "To Shanshu in Sunnydale"
- 23 -
Visions & Delusions
Visions & Delusions
Cordelia continued to float several feet off the ground, her glow becoming brighter and stronger, as Angel’s screams became louder and more persistent. Gunn pulled Fred out of her seat next to Angel and put an arm around her protectively, slowly backing up in fear of what was occurring. Everyone was now on their feet, staring at the couple that was obviously receiving the vision meant for them.
Lilah looked around nervously. She thought working at Wolfram and Hart could be disconcerting, but just being here in Sunnydale was worse. She needed to get out of here, out of this city, maybe even this state. Quickly. She began sliding towards the door, figuring that no one would notice her leaving amid the chaos. Before she could get two feet away, Wesley grabbed her arm, yanking her back towards him.
"Going somewhere?" He demanded, tightening his grip on the woman’s arm.
"Not anymore I guess," she sheepishly replied. Damn. Usually nothing could make her feel so insignificant but Wesley had a way about him that made her feel absolutely filthy.
"Giles, shouldn’t we stop this?" Buffy demanded, concern coating every word. All of her senses were trained on Angel and Cordelia, leaving her unaware of what was taking place elsewhere in the room.
"No, they’re perfectly fine," Giles responded calmly as he held Buffy’s elbow to keep her from interrupting. "They have to receive their message without the rest of us interfering. It’ll be fine."
William slowly moved behind Buffy and encircled her waist with his strong arms. Whispering in her ear he said, "It’s all right luv. They’ll be fine. You and I always are after our visions. He can’t hurt them yet." He could feel her relax against him. This night was taking a toll on everyone, especially her. And it was only the beginning.
"Are you sure they’re okay?" Fred asked in a frightened tone as she leaned into Gunn and grabbed Lorne’s arm. Her world felt like it was spinning out of control. What would she do if something were to happen to Angel? To Cordy? Angel saved her from hell, gave her a place to live and comforted her and Cordelia befriended her when she felt alone. It was true that she had Gunn now, but she needed them to be okay. They were her family now and she loved them both more than she could ever express.
Suddenly, Cordelia dropped to the floor in a heap while Angel slid off his seat and onto the floor, unconscious.
******
Fred was at Cordelia’s side in seconds trying to assess if her friend was hurt in any way. "Cordelia? Cordy? Can you hear me?"
Cordelia moaned softly and felt herself being rolled on her back. Images of the Master still enveloped her mind. She was afraid to open her eyes; afraid that he would be standing in front of her and that it hadn’t been a dream. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she heard a voice calling her name.
"Cordelia, please open your eyes! Say something!" Fred pleaded, gently shaking her.
"Is she dead?" Gunn asked, trying to keep the panic that he felt out of his voice. "Try mouth to mouth."
"She’s not dead silly," Fred stated with some annoyance. "She’s just unconscious."
"Are you sure?" Willow inquired as she peered down at the former cheerleader, horror etched on her ashen face. "She looks dead."
Xander took a deep breath. "Okay, everyone stand back," he stated with authority, spreading his arms out to move those closest to him and trying to take control of the situation. "I’m gonna try mouth to mouth."
"Anyone giving me mouth to mouth is going to find themselves in a heap on the other side of the room," Cordelia declared, sitting up and holding her head in her hands.
Fred laughed and hugged her friend tightly. The group around Cordelia breathed a collective sigh of relief.
"Are you alright sweetie?" Lorne asked as he kneeled down next to her. "That one looked like it packed quite a punch."
"Yeah. I’m fine," she replied as she rubbed her temples. "God that was wicked. It all felt so real. He’s still just as ugly as he was six years ago."
"You’re telling me," Buffy cringed. "At least he didn’t kill you."
"Not yet anyway," Xander deadpanned.
"Very funny," Cordelia sneered back at him. "Hey," she started, realizing that Angel hadn’t come to her aid, "where’s Angel? Is he okay?"
In all their worries over Cordelia, no one had bothered to check on Angel.
Buffy shrugged. "I just figured since he wasn’t dust, he wasn’t dead."
"That’s comforting," Cordelia retorted as Fred and Lorne helped her stand up. "Since I’m fine, would it be too much to ask for you to check on Angel?" She hoped that Buffy caught the sarcasm in her voice; she knew the others had, although with Buffy, you just never knew if the girl understood anything you were saying to her or not.
Rolling her eyes, Buffy began to walk towards Angel’s prone form but stopped short when she saw Connor cradling his father’s head, tears slipping down his cheeks.
******
"Angel?" Connor asked as he leaned over his father’s body. He couldn’t tell if the vampire was okay or not since there wasn’t any breathing but as Buffy had pointed out, Angel wasn’t dust so he must still be alive. He had watched in horror as his father had screamed out in obvious pain and then slipped to the floor. When everyone else had gone to the aid of Cordelia, he had silently joined his father on the ground. Gently, he shook Angel’s shoulders. No response. How could he have been so wrong about everything? How could he have believed all the lies that Justine and Holtz had told him? Despite his best efforts, his tears began to flow silently as his guilt overwhelmed him.
Buffy backed up slowly and motioned for the others to observe what was occurring. She was amazed that this stone-cold teen was showing any emotion other than bitterness or hatred. On the one hand, she wanted him to pay for trying to kill her and on the other, his fear and grief tugged at her heart. She felt as if she were intruding on a private moment between father and son. She was sure that the others probably felt the same way.
Hesitantly, Dawn took a step forward but William stopped her, shaking his head slowly, indicating that this was not something she should be involved in right now. She nodded her response and turned her head. If she couldn’t comfort him, she didn’t want to see his pain.
"Dad?" Connor begged trying not to panic. He felt horrible about everything he had done, not only to Buffy and Dawn but to his father as well. "Father, please wake up. I need to tell you how sorry I am. For everything."
A solitary tear fell on Angel’s face as the boy cried his name over and over again. Slowly, Angel sat up and wrapped his arms around his sobbing son. If his heart could beat, he was sure that it would be breaking by now. After Cordelia had saved him from a watery grave, all he had wanted to do was to confront Connor and ask him why. But now, now all he wanted to do was to hold and comfort him.
"Please forgive me father. I didn’t know..."
"Shhhhhh, Connor. It’s okay," Angel soothed, trying to calm his son. "It’s all right. We’ll get through this."
"But I tried to kill you and Buffy. I did it because I thought you killed my fath-Holtz. Justine made me think you did and I believed her..." His sobs were beyond heart wrenching as he poured out his guilt.
Cordelia ran to the two forms on the ground and pulled them both into an embrace. "Shhhhh," she whispered, trying to console them as she gently rocked them back and forth. She struggled with her own tears while father and son cried together. "It’s all going to be okay. Everything’s going to be okay."
Quietly the others slipped into the back room to give the three some much-needed private time.
******
Buffy paced the training room while the others watched. She tired desperately to put the pieces of the prophecy together but was having a hard time doing so since she was exhausted.
"Luv? Buffy?" William softly asked, trying to get her attention. It hadn’t worked. If he didn’t get her to sit down soon, she was going to wear a hole in the floor from her pacing. It also wasn’t helping the others’ nervousness either. Finally, he strolled over to her and placed his hands on her shoulders. The action brought her out of her thoughts.
"What?" She asked with a dazed look on her face.
"Luv, I need you to sit down. You’re making the others even more nervous than they already are..."
"I’m sorry. I’m just thinking..."
"I know. We’re going to get through this, luv. Now please, let’s sit down."
Giles watched from across the room as William deftly handled his slayer. He was quite impressed with the man Spike had become over the past few months. Training William to become Buffy’s watcher had been a brilliant idea on his part. The two worked well together. Quietly he approached the couple that was now sitting on the floor in front of the pommel horse. Crouching down next to them, he whispered, "We need to go somewhere to rest and do research. Nothing’s going to get done here."
William nodded in agreement. The Magic Box would be the ideal spot for research but there wasn’t a comfortable place for people to sleep.
"We can go back to my house," Buffy stated in a monotone voice. She felt detached from everything around her. "Sleep in shifts. You, Wes and William can do research in the dining room. I’m sure Will and Tara can help you too."
"Excellent idea, Buffy," Giles commented as he put patted her shoulder. "How are you holding up?"
"Well, let’s see: in the last twenty-four hours I’ve had to search for my sister, beat up Willy for information, kill several fledglings, got a message from my dead mother, had to defend myself for my choice in boyfriend, was nearly killed by Steven who turned out to be Angel’s son Connor, was attacked by one of the Master’s minions, nearly had the life scared out of me thinking something had happened to my sister when you guys came through the portal and I’ve had to deal with the gang from Los Angeles. All in all, I think I’m holding up pretty well. What do you think?"
Giles gave her a small smile as he squeezed her shoulder. "As I was saying, rest is in order..."
Before Giles could finish his sentence, the door leading to the shop opened and Cordelia, followed by Angel and Connor, entered the training room. All three looked as if they had been to hell and back, several times over.
Buffy stood to acknowledge their presence. "Good. Now that everyone’s here, let’s get down to business. We’re going to head back to my place." She turned towards the group of Watchers who were standing off to her left. "Giles, you and Wes grab everything you need to do research."
They nodded back at her and started heading towards the shop to gather the pertinent information.
Turning towards her group of friends, she stated, "We’ll sleep in shifts. First shift will be Dawn, Willow and Tara. We’re going to need you three well rested and ready to go by tomorrow night. Cordy, you might want to catch some sleep too. It looks like your vision took a lot out of you."
"Understatement of the day," Cordelia replied with a nod, relieved that she didn’t have to ask to be in the first shift of sleepers. She was exhausted. If it wasn’t for the fact that Angel was holding her up, she would have passed out by now.
"The rest of you," Buffy continued, now in complete Slayer mode, "will help Giles, William and Wes with the research. I don’t think we’re in any immediate danger since the Master needs us all alive for tomorrow night, well most of us anyway, but if you think you may not be able to help with the research, I’ll give you weapons and you can stand guard. Oh, except for you Lilah, we’ll tie you to a chair somewhere. Any questions?"
Everyone nodded back at her in unison as Lilah rolled her eyes.
"Good. Let’s go."
******
The trip to the Summers’ home had been made in complete silence. William, Angel, Wes, Giles and Buffy brought up the rear of the group, making sure that nothing could attack them from behind while Xander helped Gunn look after the renegade lawyer. Upon reaching the house, Dawn headed straight to her room while Willow and Tara went to theirs and Buffy made Cordelia comfortable in her room. The three watchers spread out their books and what not on the dining room table, delving immediately into researching the prophecy. In the living room the remaining group, plus a secured Lilah, tried to relax.
"I feel so useless," Xander muttered, mostly to himself but those sitting around him heard as well.
"You’re not the only one dude," Gunn replied with a sigh. "Why can’t we just go after this Master thing now, take him out before the Judgment?"
"Probably because he’s protected," Anya responded matter of factly. "Not only is he protected by all of the minions he’s managed to create but he’s probably protected by magic as well. The Last Judgment is a serious thing. I’d imagine that none of us would get very far before being killed."
Xander looked at his girlfriend in complete awe. "Anya, why didn’t you tell us that you knew anything about this?"
"No one asked," she added shrugging. "Besides, I really don’t know much other than rumors and legend and those aren’t enough to help sort out anything."
"How do you even know about this?" Fred asked, intrigued that someone other than Wesley might have any knowledge of these types of things.
"Anya used to be a demon..." Xander replied.
"You were a demon?" Gunn asked incredulously, eyes wide.
"Ex-vengeance demon," she corrected with a smile.
Gunn let out a low whistle. "And I thought we were a messed up group."
Connor tried not to smile at Gunn’s remark as he took a seat on the floor in front of the couch.
Lorne had been listening to the exchange as he looked around the living room, his eyes coming to rest on the stereo. "Lookie what we have here," he said with a grin.
"No," Gunn cried out. "Uh uh. No way."
"What?" Xander asked with a frown. "It’s just a stereo."
"Dude, you have no idea what that means to this guy."
The green demon stood up and started rummaging around the CDs. "Oh! Celine Dion! Did I tell you I met her in Vegas? She’s fabulous."
"I don’t think Buffy would be happy with you playing anything by her," Xander stated with a cringe. "It’s a former roommate from hell kinda thing."
Lorne let out an exaggerated sigh. Taking another quick peek, his smiled widened. "Even better."
"Oh no!" Gunn exclaimed. "What did you find now?"
"Okay people. Let’s do some Livin’ La Vida Loca! Everybody gets to sing!"
"What?" Xander demanded waving his hands back and forth in front of him in a negative way. "I’m not singing. No way you’re going to get me to sing. Are you delusional?"
"Look, you want to help figure out who’s involved in this prophecy or not? It would save those exhausted men over there some time."
Xander looked towards the dining room and sighed. "Fine. But I’m not singing Ricky Martin!"
******
In the backyard, Buffy sat quietly on the bench looking at the stars. She had excused herself from the research table to come out here to think. Her and research were not of the good. Of course, she had to practically tie William to his chair since he was so insistent on accompanying her outside. She understood that he was just concerned for her safety and well-being but she could take care of herself. Both she and Giles had made the case that the Master needed her alive and well in order for the Last Judgment to be completed on time. Begrudgingly, William had finally agreed to stay and help Giles and Wesley. Thank God. All she wanted was a little alone time, time to come to terms with the fact that she was probably going to die, again, for yet a third time. Didn’t they always say the third time is the charm? What exactly did that mean? She wasn’t exactly feeling the charm, that’s for sure.
"I know you’re standing there," she stated with some amusement to the vampire who was now lurking in the shadows.
"I figured you’d be able to sense me. Just thought I’d kinda hang back, in case you might need anything."
"Like backup?"
"Maybe," he replied, stepping towards her and giving her his patented half grin.
"I can take care of myself you know."
Hesitantly he sat down next to her on the bench and looked into her eyes. "I know." He sighed. So much had happened today, he didn’t know where to start. "Buffy, I’m sorry."
"Sorry?" She asked with a frown. "For what?"
"For not telling you about Connor or the Shanshu prophecy. Basically for everything."
"There’s no need for apologies, Angel," she said smiling at him. It was nice being able to talk to him like this again. She hadn’t realized how much she had really missed it until now. "There’s a lot I didn’t tell you either. It’s all bridge with water running under it."
Angel snorted and shook his head. She was amazing. Suddenly he felt like he was complete again. Whole. "Buffy," he said, almost in a whisper. "I...there’s something I need to tell you."
Buffy raised her eyebrows, noticing the seriousness in his tone. What more could he possibly tell her? Hadn’t they already said everything there was to say earlier? "Is everything okay?"
"It’s fine..." He took an unneeded breath and looked up at the stars. "No, it’s not fine." Pulling her hand into his and looking into her eyes, he said, "Buffy, despite everything that has happened over the last few years, I’ve never stopped...what I’m trying to say is..." Damnit. He felt like such a fool.
"Angel? Whatever it is, you know you can tell me, right?"
"Buffy, I love you."
Author: PSUbrat
Rating: PG-13 Some language and violence
Disclaimer and spoiler warning: These characters belong to Joss Whedon and whomever else he sells them to, I'm just borrowing them for a while. This story is part three of a trilogy and is based upon the alternate universe I created in Reset.
Update List: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Destined_Fic
Summary: Buffy is stunned by Angel's admission while Lorne and the others try to figure out the prophecy through song...
Timeframe: Immediately following "Visions & Delusions"
- 24 -
Sing a Song
Sing a Song
The insistent sound of bass pounded through the house as the three men sat at the table in the dining room trying to make sense of some long forgotten prophecy. Their faces betrayed their exhaustion, especially Giles, who had been up for almost forty-eight hours now. At first, they had tried to ignore the sound, give those in the living room the benefit of the doubt, but soon it was just too much to bear. Wesley covered his ears while he tried to translate the text in front of him, his head pounding in time with the sound coming from the other room. He glanced up at the former vampire sitting in front of him to see what his reaction was to the noise; surely he would be offended as well. Shock registered on his face when he saw William’s head bobbing in time with the music.
"What is that bloody awful noise?" The older watcher demanded finally, somewhat exasperated.
"Certainly not Schubert or Beethoven," Wesley replied with a frown. He’d soon have to go look for some aspirin for his headache if this kept up.
Giles slowly shook his head as he took off his glasses. "Whatever it is, it’s dreadful."
"Oh please," William retorted, grinning at his two companions. "Listen to you two blokes. It’s called music."
"Yes, William. I realize that it’s music but why on earth are they playing it? The others are upstairs trying to sleep. Now is not the time to be ‘partying down’."
William snorted. "I’m sure they’re just trying to blow off some steam, Rupert."
"Hardly," Wesley stated dryly as he tried to turn his attentions back to his book. "It’s probably Lorne just trying to get everyone to sing so that he can read...Good God!" He declared as his head shot up and his eyes widened in realization. "That’s it!"
"That’s what?" Giles inquired, somewhat annoyed with the man who seemed to be speaking in puzzles.
"Lorne. Bloody brilliant," Wesley stated with a chuckle. "I don’t know why I didn’t think of it before. It’s quite simple. Lorne gets them to sing and then reads them."
"Reads them? Like he did me earlier?"
"Precisely William. If he can read them, he can find out who is, and is not, a player in this prophecy. Of course, it won’t tell us a thing about how to stop the Master but it will give us some insight into the pairings."
"What are we still sitting here for then?" William asked as he stood. "I believe the music is calling us..."
"It’s not music," Giles insisted as he followed the younger watcher into the living room. "Bay City Rollers, now that’s music."
******
Outside, the trees swayed to their own music in the soft breeze; the sound of their leaves rustling together was soothing and melodic. The night was cool and clear, enough so that the stars were clearly visible. There were thousands upon thousands of them, twinkling brightly in the night sky. This had been the reason she had come out here to begin with, to lose herself in the stars and the sounds of the night but now she was sitting on the bench, next to Angel, staring incredulously at him.
"Come again?" She croaked. She was sure she had heard him wrong. Her heart began to pound and she felt as if she was going to be sick.
Angel tightened his grip on her hand. He had expected this reaction but he still wasn’t prepared to see the shock on her face. "Buffy, I’m still in love you. I don’t think I’ve ever stopped."
"Are you delusional?"
"What?"
"Delusional. You know; the act of being deluded."
"I’m not delusional, Buffy. For the first time in years, I’m seeing things so clearly. I should have never left you. I should have stayed with you; things would have been so different for you, for us, if I had. I wanted to tell you because after tomorrow night...well, I may not get the chance."
Her body felt numb. She was sure that if he wasn’t holding her hand, anchoring her to this world that she would just drift away to join the stars in the heavens. How long had she waited for him to say these things? How many times had she dreamed of his return? Now, here he was, sitting next to her, telling her everything she had always longed to hear. Her mind reeled. She closed her eyes and tried to reign in her thoughts. His name was all that managed to tumble from her lips as he leaned in to kiss her.
******
Lorne sat comfortably on the couch, one hand on the armrest, tapping in time to the rhythm and the other draped over the back behind Anya. His left leg was crossed over his right and his foot swung slowly to the beat. He closed his eyes as he listened to Gunn try to sing the song he had chosen. Who’d have thought that this young man from the streets of L.A. would harbor a secret such as this? If it weren’t for the fact that the puzzle pieces needed to be put together quickly, he would have been giving his friend a hard time about his choice of music. As it was, it was taking all that he had to keep from chuckling out loud.
Nervously Gunn stumbled over the words. Before he had put on the CD, he had threatened bodily harm to the first person that laughed at him. It was good that he wasn’t as insecure about this as most guys his age. This was a serious time and serious times called for some serious music. Closing his eyes, he began swaying with the music as he continued to sing. "I’ve been searching, deep down in my soul; words that I’m hearing are starting to get old..." He really loved this song; it called to his soul. "It feels like, I’m starting all over again, the last three years, were just pretend, and I said..." Michelle Branch could really belt out a blues tune. "Goodbye to you, goodbye to everything, I thought I knew. You were the one that I loved, the one thing that, I tried to hold on to..."
Fred watched in amazement as her boyfriend’s voice entranced her. There was so much more to him than anyone would see at first glance. He wasn’t your typical boy from the ‘hood. He was strong, confident, and tender. She swelled with pride knowing that she was his.
"Alright blues boy," Lorne interrupted. "You can stop. You’re not one of the chosen."
Gunn continued to sing along; oblivious that anyone had just spoken to him. "I used to get lost in your eyes..." He stopped only when he heard the group break into laughter. "Hey!" He shouted. "I thought I said I’d kill the first person that laughed at me?"
"Sorry bro," Fred giggled. "Lorne said you could stop but you just kept right on going."
Gunn cocked his head to the side and placed his hands on his hips. "I thought I told you that you couldn’t use that word?"
Everyone laughed again as Lorne cleared his throat. He was sure the boy was blushing, even if they couldn’t tell. "Sit down G. As I said, you’re not one of them. Who’s next?"
Fred shyly raised her hand. "I’ll go." She walked over to the CD collection and flipped through the selections. Finally, settling on one, she popped the player open and placed the disc into the drive. She wasn’t sure why she had agreed to do this. The last time she sang for Lorne, all hell had broken loose at his club. She was concerned the same thing would happen now.
As the music started, Gunn’s eyes widened in recognition. Was she really going to do this? Clearly, she had gone insane. He watched, mouth agape, while Xander and Anya exchanged amused looks.
Fred smiled coyly at Gunn and then began her song. "Two trailer park girls go round the outside, round the outside, round the outside..."
"What on earth?" Lorne asked with a frown. This song would do his head in for sure. Such a shame that poor girl didn’t know any Ricky Martin songs. She had been in Pylea far too long, missed too many good tunes.
Connor laughed as he watched Gunn squirm at Fred’s choice in songs. He would have never guessed that this quiet girl could even sing, let alone sing Eminem.
Fred continued with the song, adding some dance moves as well. "Guess who’s back, back again. Shady’s back, tell a friend..." She could tell that Charles wanted to crawl into a hole. The thought made her smile so she danced in front of him, gyrating to the beat.
"What in God’s name are you doing?" Giles demanded from the doorway.
******
Angel was vaguely aware of the chirping crickets as they provided the background music for his attempted reconciliation with Buffy. It seemed to him that they were whispering to him, telling him to unburden his heart to her. He hadn’t realized that the words had come out in a rush or that he was shaking. All that mattered was the look in her eyes. He knew there was a part of her that felt the same way that he did, the same burning desire to be together. He just needed to connect with that part, make her understand. Before he knew what he was doing, he had leaned over to kiss her.
Slowly she leaned in to meet him, unaware of her surroundings and still feeling as if she was floating. She was lost in his eyes; so much like old times.
"Buffy, I..." he whispered as his eyes lowered, noticing her lips moving closer to his.
Suddenly their mouths met in a searing kiss. All the pain, passion and regret of the past poured out through their lips. Before Buffy knew it, Angel had pulled her on to his lap. She could feel his need for her growing. This was wrong. So wrong. Pulling free from his arms, she stood up and moved away from him, covering her mouth with her hand.
He watched her back away from him, shock reflecting in her eyes. As she turned, he reached out to her, wanting to pull her back. "Buffy..."
"Don’t. Don’t say a word."
"But Buffy..."
"How dare you? How dare you come back here after all this time and say these things? What about Cordelia?"
"How did you...how do you know about Cordy?"
"I may be blonde, Angel, but I’m not stupid. I see the way she looks at you and the way you look at her when you think I’m not looking."
"I don’t love her."
"Like hell you don’t. You certainly don’t love me."
"I do love you Buffy. I always have. How many times do I have to say it?"
"You can say it all you want, Angel. But you don’t mean it. You’re just in love with the idea of loving me. Not more than three hours ago you were ready to tell me about Cordelia but then you stopped yourself because you just couldn’t handle the thought that I was happy with Spike. God forbid that Spike be allowed to have happiness. That’s what this is all about, isn’t Angel? Trying to reclaim something that was yours because you don’t think Spike is worthy enough to have it?"
"No!" He yelled at her as he grabbed her arm, looking deeply into her eyes. "This has nothing to do with Spike. This has everything to do with you and me. I love you Buffy, I always will."
"I don’t love you, Angel. I’m in love with Spike and I have been for a very long time now. He was here for me, when my mom got sick, when she died, when I died and came back. He’s been here for me through the worst time of my life. Where were you when all of those things happened?"
He looked at her with pleading eyes. "Buffy I’m sorry but..."
"But you did what you needed to do. I know that. I’m not holding it against you anymore," she said quietly, regaining control in her voice. "I’m just saying that he’s been there for me. He’s never left. Well, other than to go get a soul, but still, my point is...he’s never left me. Even when I pushed him away and beat the total crap out of him, he stayed. Why? At first, I thought it was because he liked the pain but now I know it’s because he loves me and he believes in me more than you ever did or ever could." Her eyes flashed with anger. She needed to make him understand that he no longer held the same place in her heart that he once did.
"That’s not fair, Buffy. I gave you space to find a normal life."
"I didn’t want a normal life. I wanted you. And since I couldn’t have you I moved on. So did you..." She put her hand up to silence him, as he was about to protest what she was saying. "I’ve found something bigger than the both of us and I have a feeling you’ve found that same type of thing with Cordelia, haven’t you?"
He looked away from her. Why couldn’t she understand his feelings for her were genuine? He truly loved her, now and forever. He lowered his head and sighed, feeling defeated. "No. I haven’t. Because I love you and only you," he said lifting his head and meeting her eyes. "I just wish you would accept that."
"Maybe you do love me, Angel. The thing is, even if you did, you can’t have me. I’m in love with someone else and no one, not even you, can come between that."
The welling tears stung the back of his eyes. He looked away from her again and up at the stars. This had not gone quite the way he had planned it.
******
"Uh, dancing and singing?" Fred replied meekly, answering Giles demand as she brought her act to a screeching halt. Singing and dancing in front of Lorne, Connor and the Scoobies was one thing, but being caught doing it by a very British Watcher was quite another. She could feel the warmth rising in her cheeks and began to fan herself. "It’s hot in here. I think I better sit down." Quickly she moved to sit next to Gunn on the floor.
Giles watched as the young girl took a seat next to her boyfriend, her cheeks and neck turning a bright shade of crimson. He hadn’t meant to embarrass the girl and he felt somewhat badly about it. "I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. It’s just that your choice in, uhm, music was a bit disconcerting."
"You’re not the only one thinking that," Gunn responded as he gave Fred a puzzled expression. He watched as she blushed again, even a deeper shade of red than before, if that were possible.
"I’ll second that," Lilah stated from the other side of the room. "If you’re going to have me tied up, could you at least provide some earplugs?" If she ever got out of this alive, she was going to make Angel Investigations pay dearly.
"Oh come on Lilah," Wesley grinned wickedly at her. "You’re not having a splendid time? I thought this would be right up your alley, free entertainment. Oh, I’m sorry, it’s the other way around. You usually provide that."
She narrowed her eyes and glared at him. Silently she swore to herself that he was going to be the one to pay the most for his transgressions. She would make sure of it personally.
"She doesn’t look too happy," Anya chirped. "Maybe we should sing something upbeat next time."
"There’s always ‘I Touch Myself’ by the Divinyls," Xander declared with a grin. "But I suppose that would require less rope on her part."
Wesley chuckled at the remark as he saw Lilah’s face redden.
"Please accept my apology," Lorne interrupted, hoping to ease the tension that was building in the room. He stood up to face the three watchers who were hovering by the door. "It was my idea to get them to sing and dance." He paused a moment to consider his statement. "Actually it was my idea to have them sing, dancing was optional. Anywho, from what I can see, Gunn and Fred are not part of the Twelve."
"So it worked then?" Wesley asked, moving deeper into the room; his curiosity peeked.
"That it did. And I was just going to have Boy Wonder here sing after little Miss Snoop Doggy Dog was finished. By the way, darling, that was marvelous!"
Fred giggled. "Word."
Gunn shot her a glance that said ‘you and I are gonna talk later’.
"Fascinating," Giles stated as he moved towards the couch to have a seat. "Mr. Lorne, please continue with your experiment." Perhaps they could finally solve the puzzle of the Twelve before tomorrow evening. "Xander, when you pick something out to sing, please do make sure it’s music and not noise. Do try to remember that there are those sleeping right now whose powers will be of the utmost importance tomorrow night.
"Right," Xander nodded as he flipped through the CD collection, praying that there was something manly he could use.
William continued to lean against the doorframe, smiling to himself at the thought of Xander singing. Buffy would certainly want to see this, he thought. Despite the jovial atmosphere, something bothered him; something felt off. His eyes slowly scanned the room. Everyone who was awake was accounted for, except for one. Concerned, he silently slipped away from the living room unnoticed and headed towards the back door.
