Breaking Dawn

[psubrat]

I finally finished Breaking Dawn last weekend. It took me three months to complete it. Why? Because my freaking head kept exploding, blood kept shooting out of my eyes and I could only take it in pieces parts. SoccerRef joked that he should have bought stock in Duct Tape with as much as I used it to tape my head back together.


What I liked:

• The third section of the book. Why? BECAUSE IT HAD ACTUAL PLOT! OMG. It only took Meyer a gazillion and a half pages to get there. It's too bad my brain had oozed out my ears by that point because I might have actually enjoyed it more.

Things that made my head explode and blood shoot out my eyes:

• The never ending pregnancy saga. Holy crap! IT TOOK UP TWO-THIRDS OF THE FREAKING BOOK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! See, head exploding just thinking about it. How many times did we have to be told that the baby was detrimental to Bella's health??? No shit, Sherlock. We got it the first five hundred times. Especially after it chewed its way out. ::shudders::


• Bella. I continue to loathe her. I completely understand her wanting to keep the baby. I get that. If I were in her position, I might have done the same thing. But that's as far as my sympathies go. She's unlikable because she's whiny and clingy. I don't deal well with whiny and clingy type people.


• My head exploded further when she became a vampire and her transition was absolutely perfect. Not only did she have this shield gift, but she was also in complete control of her blood thirst. Plus she was more gorgeous and stronger and faster and better at everything than Edward...and remember, Edward (whom I actually felt sorry for in this book) is perfection personified. WHATEVER! Some say Bella's a Mary Sue, but I'm not sure I agree with that. I think if she were really Meyer, we'd LIKE her.


• Jacob. Dude. I wished so hard that Leah had taken him out back and shot him to put him AND US out of our misery. I can't believe he even considered Edward's suggestion that he impregnate Bella so she'd get rid of the baby killing her. GET A GRIP! I'm sorry, but that was just...icky.


• Jacob imprinting on Renesmee. Gross, gross, gross. ::shudders:: I thought the imprinting on a toddler was disgusting, but a baby? That was a new low even for Meyer.


• Renesmee for a name. As most of you know, I have a problem with weird baby names because I'm watching what my nephews are going through with their names. It seems it's always about the parents and what they think is unique and unusual...it's never about what the child will have to go through as a result. Yeah, I'm picky that way. It's a thing.


• Switching from Bella's point of view to Jacob's point of view was major suckage. Meyer could have skipped the whole second section with Jacob's POV by having Bella OBSERVE Jacob's actions because honestly, we gained NOTHING from that section. Did Meyer even have an editor for this book?


• As I said, I felt sorry for Edward throughout most of the book. Overall though, I thought he was poorly utilized for a main character. Why the third section wasn't written from his point of view is beyond me. Three sections, should have been three different points of view since there are three major characters. But what do I know? I'm not the one raking in millions of dollars because I tapped into a market no one else has before (other than J.K. Rowling). So I will never begrudge Meyer that. She has nothing but my respect. However, when you create characters that people can't relate to, or stand, you've missed the entire point of telling a story.


• While I appreciated the third, and mercifully, FINAL section, the confrontation with the Volturi fell flat for me. Maybe I like a little action rather than standing around talking about how they'll defend themselves if something happens. Made my eyes roll out of my head. All bluster and no follow through. Pity.

I realize a lot of my friends enjoyed this series, and I'm truly sorry that I've torn apart something you appreciate, but other than Twilight, I found nothing worthwhile reading. In fact that's a lot of hours I'll never get back again. Also, I'm no longer on Team Jacob. Nor am I on Team Edward. I'm on Team Suck.

Other than that, I do wish nothing but continued success for Stephenie Meyer.

Comments

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

I've realized after stewing on the series since I read the damn thing that Twilight is the only one I found remotely tolerable as literature. The rest I read merely for the LOLZ, which were great indeed.

The first book had potential. It wasn't perfect, God knows, but if an editor had stepped up before she started the next book and took her in hand, I think the next three books could have been manhandled and streamlined into something awesome. Alas, they just kinda let her do her thing and ... ugh.

My best friend, who loved the books for the most part, kept coming up to me at work while she was reading BD (I'd already read it by then) with these looks of absolute horror on her face, like, "WTF did I just read?!". It was amazing. :D

[psubrat.livejournal.com]

My little sister is just eating this series up and loving it. I'm not sure why, but to each their own. I'm trying to decide if it's the difference between a girly girl thing and maybe a tomboy thing. It'd be interesting to see if there's something to that.

I'm glad you got LOLZ out of it, because my head just kept exploding instead. I kept thinking, yeah, it's gotta get better, right? I mean, after all, these are BEST SELLERS and there's movies too!!!! Uhm, not so much.

Your poor friend! LOL

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

I was reading the entire series just because I felt like if I'm going to mock, I should at least read the damn things first. And somewhere along the line, I got everybody at work to read them and I was the only one who didn't get sucked into the Twilight love. And people wonder why I spend so much time on the internet. ;)

I think it helped that I read cleolinda's recaps and stoney321's as well by then, not to mention every silly, jokey Twilight-related LOL on the internet, so by the time I got around to attempting for the third time to slog my way through them, I was firmly in LOL mode with them.

I have a T-shirt that says something like, "Edward can't read Bella's thoughts because she doesn't have any." Just owning that shirt gives me a happy. :D

[psubrat.livejournal.com]

I have a T-shirt that says something like, "Edward can't read Bella's thoughts because she doesn't have any." Just owning that shirt gives me a happy. :D

That is an AWESOME t-shirt. Just as good as the "Buffy killed Edward" or something along those lines. I love snark.

[ozreison.livejournal.com]

Especially after it chewed its way out. ::shudders::

The FUCK?

[psubrat.livejournal.com]

I take it you haven't read Breaking Dawn? Uh, yeah. Half human, half vampire baby. Awesome stuff, huh?

[ozreison.livejournal.com]

There are many reasons I have not read this series, and I think you just made me realise that there are good reasons for that. *grin*

[ozreison.livejournal.com]

And apparently the thought has made me lose the capacity for logical English as well. *grin*

[psubrat.livejournal.com]

I highly suggest reading cleolinda's take on the Twilight Series. She goes into much more detail than I do. It's awesome and hilarious!

[psubrat.livejournal.com]

Actually, don't sift through her Twilight tags for the book reviews...here's a link for all of them:

http://cleolinda.livejournal.com/630150.html

[houses7177.livejournal.com]

Yes. This. I agree on every single little point. You could have suctioned out my brain and come up with a nearly identical list, but probably not phrased quite as nicely, because I was still incoherent from the terrible. Team Suck, for the win.

[psubrat.livejournal.com]

Team Suck, for the win.

Seriously.

I just kept sitting there going, "For real? Are you kidding me? She did WHAT? He did WHAT?" Hot pokers in my eyes would have been preferable to the torture of this series.

[snarkhunter.livejournal.com]

it's never about what the child will have to go through as a result.

Although, to be fair, Renesme's name is the LEAST of her problems...

[psubrat.livejournal.com]

LOL! So very true! Of course she's perfect in every way as well.

[samolly.livejournal.com]

LOL, I thought you had given up on the books! BD was a tough read for me too even though I love the series, SM just went to far. My comfort is that many fanfics have corrected it and eased my hate of Bella that Eclipse and BD created.

[samolly.livejournal.com]

Oh, and I LOVE your new layout!

[psubrat.livejournal.com]

Thanks! eyesthatslay is pretty awesome. She's got me down to a T. LOL

[psubrat.livejournal.com]

I didn't give up...just had to take a very very very long break. LOL!

How did fic fix it and make it better? I'm curious. Does Renesmee exist in the fic?

[samolly.livejournal.com]

Most remove Renesmee, make Bella's change and powers more realistic and deal with Jacob better. A lot of peple just start at New Moon and go from there, ignoring Eclipse and BD. I would say about 50% of the fandom HATES BD and spends a lot of time b*tching about it. I liked the wedding and honeymoon, but the last 2/3 I could do without.

[prc260391.livejournal.com]

Okay I don't know you, but somehow I stumbled across this journal and had a few minutes worth of laughing reading your views on Twilight.
I just wanted to add a little something, people fail to realize that Meyer is a genius. Okay, she's a shitty writer, but she somehow managed to write exactly what MOST young girls want to read, all in one book, or 4 books, but you get my point. I hate Twilight with every fiber of my being (the first book not so much, but the other 3? gag me please), but then I consider myself to have a little bit of backbone and attitude, and when you think about it, only about 20% of women, let's say under 20, have that. Therefore when shown a girl with no backbone whatsoever, they identify with her on a subconcious level. That combined with the fact that every girl dreams of a perfect man (though not as perfect as Edward), and you've got a recipe for gold. These girls are obsesive, just as Bella's obsessed with Edward, they are obsessed with the series, therefore making Meyer an overnight millionare. I can't tell you in how many discussions I've gotten myself because of this, but I find it insulting when people say she's the greatest author there has ever been. As an aspiring writer, I think that her success only teaches me that if you write crap for stupid girls, then you become a best-seller. But there are millions of other authors that don't get one ounce of her success and they are a thousand times better, just because they didn't write about a perfect fantasy and instead wrote something WORTH reading. I'm sorry for the rant, but I needed to get it out, reading your LJ just reminded me of how much I hate the books.=)
P.S.: the fact that some fans can't even tell when they are being mocked, (I.E. some comics that exagerate Bella's reactions and Edward's perfection, and they believe it's been made by a fan.), tells you what kind of followers this book has.
P.s.2: sorry for any mistakes I've made, English is not my first language and grammar is not my forte=)