Feb. 18th, 2009 11:35 am
psubrat: (torchwood - ianto - dramatic eyeroll)
[personal profile] psubrat
I started reading Eclipse right after I finished New Moon and figured I'd finish it in record time as well. Boy was I wrong. I got about 200+ pages in and needed to take a break. A very long break. We're talking days...actually, almost a week. Once I gained a little perspective, and some of my sanity back, I was able to fly through the rest of the book.

Things I liked:
  • ... ... ... ... ... ... wait, let me think ... ... ... no, really, I'm sure I liked something ... ... ... I just need another minute ... ... ... OH! I know! I liked the end where Bella finally admitted she was a total bitch to Jacob. Yeah, I liked that part.

  • Alice

  • I enjoyed the Quileutes legend of how they came to be. I love legends and Meyer did a wonderful job painting the "campfire tales" setting.

  • The fact that the Quileutes and Cullens worked together to defeat a common enemy

  • Compared to Twilight, there were hardly any references to how beautiful, gorgeous, angelic, etc. the Cullens and Edward are

Things that made me want to claw my eyes out:
  • Bella
    - This character has absolutely nothing going on for her. I can no longer empathize with her -- granted, I'm far from the target audience, but that shouldn't matter, there should be SOMETHING about her that would make me like her since she's the heroine of the story. For the majority of the book, I wanted to slap her silly or throttle her, or both at the same time. She is NOTHING without a man, whether that man be Jacob or Edward. And therein lies my biggest problem with her.

    - Her treatment of Jacob: "I don't like you that way, but hold my hand or put your arm around me anyway because I'm nothing without a man holding me." ::rolls eyes:: Oh, and don't forget to get pissed off when he kisses you because you send him MIXED SIGNALS. I kept yelling at Jacob to run away. And then he did, but only after Bella shattered his heart.

    - Don't even tell me that a coven of vampires, most of them being close to a hundred years old, couldn't put together the clues coming out of Seattle, but Bella could. That part had me rolling my eyes so hard they fell out of my head. It left me shaking my head going, "That makes absolutely no sense at all other than to have Bella suddenly look like she has a brain."

    - OMMIGOD! EVERYONE WANTS TO KILL HER! WTF? WHY? Seriously. I get that Meyer wrote Bella as feeling drab and lifeless...especially when Edward left her, OH THE HORROR OF IT ALL!!!!, but Bella continues to be a drab character and I cannot for the life of me understand why everyone wants to kill a character that has absolutely no charisma.

    - I should have kept tally of the number of times she asked or referred to Edward making her a vampire. She wanted to spend eternity with him by becoming a vampire, but she didn't want to get married? What. The. Hell? My mind boggles. At least she appeared to have started thinking things through about what she was to become, but it didn't seem to last long and then she was back to..."Edward, change me now!" Ugh!!
  • The constant testosterone laden pissing match between Jacob and Edward. And yes, it quite literally was a pissing match with the way those two kept leaving their scent all over Bella in order to piss the other one off.

  • Edward. So smug. So...ugh! Sorry, still not feeling the sparkly love.

  • Jacob. WTF boy? Get a grip! She's obviously not that into you no matter what she might say or do to make you think otherwise. I think I wanted to slap him around just as much as Bella.

  • Imprinting?? Are you freaking serious? ON A TODDLER????? Ugh!

  • Plot? What plot? Oh! You mean that thing that showed up in the last quarter of the book? Did Meyer get paid by the word? If not, she should have renegotiated her contract. As I said, I enjoyed the legend telling, but to have it followed so closely by Jasper's never ending monologue about newborn vampires made blood shoot out of my eyes and brain slide out my ears. Hence the reason I had to take a very long break.

  • The build up to Victoria's appearance -- for two books worth -- fell flat as a pancake for me. There was no taunting of Bella, no witty bantering, nothing...just Edward killing Victoria in a very clumsily written showdown.

  • The sudden shift from Bella first person to Jacob first person at the end was like whiplash.

I'm sure there were other things that I didn't like, but for now, these are the things that stand out.

I've started reading Breaking Dawn, and already I'm pounding my head against the wall. If it wasn't for my obsessiveness, I would have stopped after the second book, but since it's a series, I'm determined to see it through to the end.

Date: 2009-02-18 04:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I can't help but laugh. I'm remembering to pack Dairy Queen (which I am hoping I did not lend) for you to borrow.

Have you read "A Great and Terrible Beauty"?

Date: 2009-02-18 09:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I have not read "A Great and Terrible Beauty". Is it good? After reading the Twilight series, I'm pretty sure anything is outstanding in comparison. ;)

Date: 2009-02-18 09:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I really liked a Great and Terrible Beauty. I've lent it out to Peter and Karen right now...

Date: 2009-02-19 03:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I can wait to read it until July. I've got a ton of books sitting in the To Read pile and then you'll be giving me three on the trip. YAY! I love books.

Date: 2009-02-18 04:57 pm (UTC)
ext_7885: Photo of Bitch,please Scarlet O'Hara (BTVS - buffy - oh my - cake ordeath)
From: [identity profile]
Oh, honey. I feel your pain. After the first book I was in WTFistan, climbing Mt. WTF, wearing my WTF tinhat.

I just don't get it.

Date: 2009-02-18 05:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Oh, honey. I feel your pain. After the first book I was in WTFistan, climbing Mt. WTF, wearing my WTF tinhat.

ROTFL...this so describes my feelings about Twilight--or how people could love it SO MUCH. I like things ABOUT it, but Bella made me want to choke her and I could not understand how every characters was obsessed with her.

Date: 2009-02-18 08:42 pm (UTC)
ext_7885: Photo of Bitch,please Scarlet O'Hara (ATS - illyria - expect no mercy shagalot)
From: [identity profile]
ITA. Other than Bella apparently smells like super-delicious vampire Twinkie, what *is* everyone going on about?

Date: 2009-02-18 09:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I like things ABOUT it, but Bella made me want to choke her and I could not understand how every characters was obsessed with her.

Sing it sistah! My mind boggles.

Date: 2009-02-18 05:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Cue: Hilarity!

You just cracked me up - at work too!

Date: 2009-02-18 08:42 pm (UTC)

Date: 2009-02-18 09:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
OMG, yes! I don't think there's a peak to Mt. WTF and I think my WTF tinhat is a little too tight right now. Seriously, if I hadn't taken that break, I think I would have slit my wrists. It's not just the bad writing, it's the bad storytelling. THERE'S NO FREAKING STORY!

Date: 2009-02-19 12:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Eclipse really was the worst book. I loved your description of the pissing contest, so true. The last two books really are fan fic. Bad fan fic at times. Which confirms my theory that Stephanie Meyers wrote a lot of fan fic before Twilight. I really would love to find out her fandoms.

Date: 2009-02-21 04:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Now that you've named it, I'm pretty sure I've visited WTFistan too.

scarlettgirl FTW!

Date: 2009-02-18 04:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Lol. I had a feeling that Eclipse would drive you crazy. I too liked the Werewolf legend, to me that was pretty much the best part of all of it.

-I still liked Edward.

-Adore Alice.

-Really despised Jacob.

-Couldn't stand either Bella or Charlie.

I've not yet read Breaking Dawn, and may not.

Date: 2009-02-18 09:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Well, you may want to stay far FAR away from Breaking Dawn. Seriously. I'm into the second "book" (Jacob's POV) and it's just BAD with a capital B, A and D. The writing sucks -- it's choppy and all over the place. I think there's a plot, but I'm not quite sure...I'll let you know when I get to the "third" book. And I still hate Bella though I'm starting to sympathize with Edward BIG time. It's just...NUTS.

I can't believe you despise Jacob. ::sigh:: He's still the best part of the book despite me wanting to slap him. LOL

Date: 2009-02-18 05:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I have yet to read anything about this series that makes me want to waste my time reading it, let alone spending precious money to buy the books.

granted, I'm far from the target audience,

You know, I have a feeling I wasn't part of the target audience for the Harry Potter books, and yet, I love them with a fiery passion. I liked, sympathized, and, yes, at times felt impatient with Harry and the other characters, but I adored the story JKR was telling.

I think that's why I'm so resistant to reading any of the Twilight books. If I don't believe I can love and sympathize with the hero/heroine, I don't want to bother with them.

Date: 2009-02-18 09:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I suggest reading Twilight ONLY, but get it from the library. Don't spend the money. I'm thinking of donating my books to our local library because there's NO WAY IN HELL I'll be reading them again.

I feel exactly the same way about the Harry Potter series. I adored every book and I'm working my way through them for the third time. The writing isn't the best, BUT the story is good and I like the characters because they have personalities! Imagine that.

There really is NOTHING sympathetic or lovable when it comes to Bella. I'm trying to understand how a lot of people I know absolutely adored this series. Maybe I'm cynical, because vampires don't sparkle, or maybe I'm just too old (though I find that highly unlikely since I did enjoy the Harry Potter series).

I gotta give credit where credit is due though, Meyer found an audience and made a boatload of money so good for her. Still don't understand the big deal though. LOL

Date: 2009-02-19 04:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Oh God, that was great.

Date: 2009-02-19 03:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Hee! I'm sure my review of Breaking Dawn will be just as scathing. I swear I'm a masochist. 0.0

Date: 2009-02-19 05:57 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Grinned so hard I think I hurt myself. I take it we are of the same mind more or less when it comes to Bella?

Yer cute. I haven't made it to BD, but if it's worse... um... um.... hmmm. (OOo! Remind me to ask if you caught something in the book the next time we talk. I wasn't able to bring myself to go back and look... so I will use you to verify my thought. Yes.)

Date: 2009-02-19 03:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
:D Glad I made ya grin. LOL

I believe we are of the same mind when it comes to Bella. And she doesn't improve so far in BD. ::rolls eyes::

I'll let you know about BD when I'm done. So far, it sucks like a giant sucking thing. 0.0

Ask away, I'm sure I can answer you since Eclipse is now seared into my brain.

Date: 2009-02-19 05:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
LOL. I have to admit I've read the books - and more than once. The first time was the proverbial car wreck: nothing is happening but I can't look away. This time around, I have to agree with you on Bella. I've never read about a protagonist with less self esteem than her. OMG, people just freaking *talk* to eachother. And for someone who has been around for 100+ years, you would think Edward would have learned something about human nature...or perhaps he's just relied to much on his superduper mindreading powers.

If the whole imprinting on a toddler thing has you queasy, take some dramamine when you read the last book.

Date: 2009-02-20 10:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Bwahaha! I haven't actually read the series, mainly because the reviews of my entire flist that has read are all very similar to yours. So, thank you, guys, for doing the heavy lifting so I can relax and enjoy the snarky reviews.


Date: 2009-02-23 10:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]

When you're done with Twilight and want to read a refreshingly wonderful vampire story/series check out Charlaine Harris' The Southern Vampire Mysteries. There's actually good characters and almost more plot than you know what to do with. :) I devoured these after the sparkly nonsense of the Twilight series.

...and what could be hotter than a viking vampire? ;)

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